May 11, 2008

This message was delivered on Mother’s Day 2008 by the pastor from the pulpit of First Advent Christian Church in Hickory, NC.

Effective Parenting

2 Timothy 1:3-7 NIV

 What does a mother (parent) have to do to be effective in discharging their God-given responsibility? For some that is a great challenge. A mother was observed in the grocery store with her three year old son. He was running up and down the aisles causing pure pandemonium. His mother noticed and said in a rather anemic tone, “Now Son, don’t do that”. She might as well have shot an elephant with a pop gun. He rounded the corner and went into the next aisle with canned goods and corn flakes falling in his wake. Again his mother said in a feeble voice, “Now Son, don’t do that.” By this time he was climbing the magazine rack at the front of the store. The rack toppled over and boy and magazines littered the floor. His screams brought the mother and the store manager who was very polite about the whole mess. But, as the mother gathered up her son whose only injury was to his pride she berated the manger for having such a flimsy magazine rack. I guess you could say this mother was “parenting challenged”.

Some mothers today push their children up the social ladder, make sure they wear the latest styles. Does that guarantee effective parenting? Other mothers read the latest childcare book and commit themselves to following all the recommendations to the letter. Is that the answer?

Now, I know that I am addressing an elite group of mothers. On any given Sunday in NC only about 20 percent of mothers are in church. Mothers, you are the cream of the crop. You know that effective parenting is tied to faith in God. And you want to be good parents because you know you are accountable to God. Therefore for you this is probably just a refresher course.

The Bible gives us several examples of mothers who were effective parents--Jochebed the mother of Moses, Hannah the mother of Samuel, and Eunice the mother of Timothy. This morning I invite your attention to Eunice. We can learn some things about effective parenting.

First, We Learn That An Effective Mother Creates of Atmosphere of Faith. Raising children is like growing a garden. You can’t make anything grow in your garden—not corn, not beans, not potatoes. You can prepare the soil. You can plant the seed. You can fertilize and water. You can guard against disease and pests. But you can’t make anything grow. All you can do is provide an atmosphere where things can grow. And you can’t make your children grow in faith in God either. All you can do is provide an atmosphere of faith.

That is what Eunice did for Timothy. And that probably wasn’t easy. Notice that no husband is mentioned. The why of that we don’t know. Maybe he had died. Maybe he was not a Christian. Maybe he just didn’t show any interest in Timothy’s spiritual training. But, Eunice was effective by herself.

Mothers, Fathers, you need not think that providing an atmosphere in this world in which your children can grow in faith will be easy. The world is and will be against you. The world makes your job harder. The world presents very few wholesome values. The world presents many things that are totally unchristian. The world is telling your children they don’t need faith in God.

Many parents today, like Eunice, don’t have a spouse to help with spiritual nurture. Some spouses are absent. Some are just unconcerned. But parents, don’t give up. Even if you are alone with the responsibility, don’t give up. Even if the world is against you, don’t give up. Eunice beat the odds.  With God’s help you can too.

Second, We Learn From Eunice That An Effective Parent Models the Christian Experience. It is true that what we do speaks so loudly that people can’t hear what we say. That is especially true for mothers. It is true for fathers. Just telling your children isn’t enough. You must model faith and Christ-like living for them. The most important values in life are caught, not taught.

 Eunice modeled the Christian faith for her son. Look at verse 5. How did Paul know about the faith of Eunice? He knew because she had lived it. Eunice’s faith was not just talk. It was evident from the deeds of her life. She lived her faith. Her faith made a difference in her life. When Timothy heard what his mother said, and when he saw what she did there was no inconsistency. Her speaking and her doing where the same. Her words and her life all pointed to Jesus.

Mothers, Fathers, can that be truthfully said of you today? Are you modeling the Christian experience for your children? Your children need for you to do that.  If you tell your children that you believe in Christ, if you tell your children that God’s will is best, you also need to model that. Your children need to see your faith in your daily life. It is not enough just to be good and decent and upright by the standards of this world. Many parents are like that and still not Christian. Tell your children what it means to be a Christian. Tell them how to become Christians. But also, model Christ-like living in your life.

Third, We Learn From the Life of Eunice That An Effective Parent Enables Her Child To Minister. Timothy became a good minister. He was more than a good preacher. Eunice          enabled him to do that. She did three things specifically.She didn’t raise Timothy to be dependent on her.  When the challenges of ministry came she didn’t say, “Now Son, are you sure you can do that?” She taught him to depend on God.When ministry called Timothy to some distant place she let him go. She didn’t say, “But Son, you will be better off here with me.” She taught him to follow the call of God.Eunice didn’t teach Timothy to be dependent on her.And she didn’t teach him to be selfish. She didn’t teach him to put himself first. She didn’t teach Timothy to consider all the inconveniences that he might encounter as a servant of God. Eunice enabled Timothy to minister.

Mothers, Fathers, you need to enable your children to do what God calls them to do in this life.

I know it gives us a good feeling when our children depend on us. We like for our children to need us. Our goal should not be to always have our children dependent on us. The fact is, we have a responsibility to teach them to get along without us. When God calls we need to encourage our child to follow God. And at the same time parents, we should not depend on our children in a way that keeps them from following the call of God. Our children were not placed in the world to primarily serve us, but to serve God. We should not make our children feel guilty for doing that. We should teach our children the joy of giving themselves to God. We should teach them that a little inconvenience for the sake of the Kingdom of God isn’t bad.

 Parents, be enablers, be encourages to your children. They will love you for that. And, God will bless you for that.

 What does it take to be an effective parent? It requires creating an atmosphere of faith. It requires modeling the Christian experience. It requires enabling your child to minister. It requires enabling your child to serve God. Mothers, Fathers, Parents, by these guidelines how effective are you? Parents hold the hands of the future. Those hands may be grimy from playing in the       dirt. One or more fingers may be wrapped with a band-aid. But, the most important thing about those hands is that they are the hands of the future. Those hands may hold a Bible and proclaim the Gospel or they may hold a .357 during a robbery. Those hands may play a church organ or spin the wheel at the gambling table. Those hands may dress an invalid’s wounds or clutch a bottle of liquor. But, right now parents, those hands are in your hands. Soon they will not be. And effective parents take advantage of today.